Some people are fans of the Arizona Cardinals. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Arizona Cardinals. This 2018 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Arizona Cardinals. Your 2017 record: 8-8. Congratulations, Arizona. Your painfully brief stretch of tangential NFL relevance is now OVER. Bruce Arians opted for a retirement full of bad hats and nitroglycerin tablets. Carson Palmer hung up both his prosthetic knees. David Johnson suffered the first of MANY season-ending injuries. It’s all over now, but what a run! You were an NFC finalist one time! HANG A BANNER. Years from now, you’ll tell your grandkids about the Arians/Palmer glory days, and those grandkids won’t give a shit because they’ll be Cowboys fans. Your coach: Steve Wilks. Excuse while I nut my pants in excitement at the prospect of yet another Panthers assistant getting a head job. Do you people WATCH the Panthers? That … [Read more...] about Why Your Team Sucks 2018: Arizona Cardinals
2018 world cup
Oklahoma Is Relentlessly Fun And Fantastic
Welcome to the Deadspin 25, a college football poll that strives to be more democratic and less useless than every other preseason poll. Leading up to the college football season kickoff, we will give you previews of the 25 teams that you, the readers, voted to be most worthy of writing about. Now, No. 14 Oklahoma. Everything was business as usual in Norman last season, Lincoln Riley’s first as head coach of the Sooners. Much ink was spilled about the 34-year-old wunderkind taking over one of the most successful college programs in the nation, both presently and in the history of the sport. But he did everything he was supposed to and never made any real gaffes, guiding the Sooners to a 12-2 record, another Big 12 championship, and a date with Georgia in the playoff. Like anyone replacing a beloved and successful coach, it will take a couple years before Riley can be adequately judged for his ability to recruit and manage talented recruiters on his coaching staff. Until … [Read more...] about Oklahoma Is Relentlessly Fun And Fantastic
I Sincerely Cannot Understand What Happens In This Madden Glitch
It’s Madden glitch season! God bless it. The exact same game, every single year, yet somehow always with horrifying and wonderful new misfires. Please watch this and luxuriate in the weirdness: Okay so, Tennessee punts, and the Seattle punt returner picks up the still-live football at the 1-yard-line. The Seahawks returner is pancaked by a Titans lineman into the end zone. He never loses the ball, as the replay makes clear. It’s a touchdown? Tennessee gets the points, but it’s the Seahawks who starts celebrating and the Seattle return man who is credited with a one-yard TD return??? This is the most joy this game will ever bring me, and that includes if I play it. Please send those glitches. … [Read more...] about I Sincerely Cannot Understand What Happens In This Madden Glitch
Andrés Iniesta Has Moved To Japan And Become A Golazo-Scoring Fiend
They say you can’t teach old dogs new tricks. They also say there is always one exception that proves any given rule. I don’t really know what to do with these two chestnuts but they seem relevant to the fact that Andrés Iniesta has moved to Japan and apparently transformed into Lionel Messi. Iniesta, the former Barcelona legend who left the only club he’d ever known this summer to join Japanese team Vissel Kobe, is famous for being a genius in the attacking end. But as breathtaking as his dribbles and passes and movement have consistently been over the years, he has somewhat curiously failed to rack up the number of goals you might predict from an advanced midfielder in the most successful attacking team in history. In his 14 years as a regular starter for Barça, Iniesta averaged just 2.4 goals per season in league play. During that span, he ended more La Liga seasons knocking in zero goals (3) than those in which he scored more than four (2). The two most … [Read more...] about Andrés Iniesta Has Moved To Japan And Become A Golazo-Scoring Fiend
Jarvis Landry Whips Ball Into Teammate’s Face, Starts Fight
The highlight of the preseason so far has been new Browns receiver Jarvis Landry laying into his fellow receivers for being weak little babies who don’t practice enough. Landry’s intensity does not seem to have quieted down since then, judging by this fight he started with cornerback Terrance Mitchell during practice yesterday: Mitchell doesn’t appear to have done anything deserving of a point-blank fastball to the face, but maybe this is all just part of Landry’s larger plan to change the culture around the team. How’s that going, by the way? Hey, when a guy who was forged in the winning culture of the Miami Dolphins shows up and starts yelling and fighting people, you gotta open yourself up to receive his lessons. … [Read more...] about Jarvis Landry Whips Ball Into Teammate’s Face, Starts Fight